Mixed Washington emotions.

October 30, 2008 at 9:08 am 6 comments

I leave in the morning to join Linda in Washington for an extra long weekend.  Not the best time to be away from here with the Convergence Summit to begin in two weeks but it is the time we have.  We are getting very close to the 50 students (41 today) we asked God for.  It is going to be a powerful time!

Going back to Washington is always filled with mixed emotionsGreat joy at seeing our children and our 5 grandchildren.  They are all so fun to be with and in different ways doing great things for the Kingdom.  Nothing better than that and the focus will be totally there.  I am so blessed to have great children, who are more friends than “kids” and grandchildren who get excited when they see us.

But there is still a sadness in returning.  Knowing, after almost exactly 3 years, nothing has changed between people who were my “best” friends and me.  Our relationships are still broken and no attempt is being made to fix them.  I made a run at it one relationship this past summer and the other person tried and I appreciated their effort, but finishing the task was not as important to them as everything else in their life.  Others it seems, just don’t care.  And really, why would they?  Three years have gone by, everyone has moved on…  To find real, obvious, public forgiveness is too hard, too messy.  Why bother?

I reread Abba’s Child with regularity.  This is the passage I opened to, tonight: The exigencies of forgiveness are simply beyond the capacity of ungraced human will.  Only reckless confidence in a Source greater than ourselves can empower us to forgive the wounds inflicted by others. Experientially, the inner healing of the heart is seldom a sudden catharsis or an instant liberation from bitterness, anger, resentment and hatred.  More often it is a gentle growing into oneness with the Crucified who has achieved our peace through His blood on the cross.  This may take considerable time because the memories are still so vivid and the hurt so deep.  But it will happen.

I hope so.

(Abba’s Child-Brennan Manning, Navpress 1994, 2002, page 68)


Entry filed under: Belief, Brennan Manning, Culture, Faith, Family, Friendship, Kingdom, Northwest, Travel, Western Oklahoma.

The unforgiveable sin? Guest blogger-Tyler Johnson Where were we?

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Gwen  |  November 28, 2008 at 11:29 am

    I have come back to this blog a few times, call me lame, but to me it speaks of an important commandment, to love, (exactly 6 letters) .
    We WANT to love the popular, the attractive, those charasmatic, intelligent, knowledgable, gifted, and beautiful. All of those were you. Greg . You fell down, in front of everyone, not like most of us who have stumbled and know one saw. Or cared to even respond. If people, who you thought were friends, turned out to be to shallow to stay beside you during your darkest time, (and who can say how long that is) 40 days or 40 years. I wonder if they were truley your friends or just ___?

  • 2. Carol  |  October 31, 2008 at 1:44 am

    ‘Others’ are still waiting for their phone(s) calls to be returned, looking forward to contact. Waiting.

  • 3. Russ Denney  |  October 30, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    God forgave you then who are we not too? Hang in,keep the faith and move on.

  • 4. kaylee  |  October 30, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    I wish I was going to Washington. I’ll be praying for the desire of your heart to come about so that you can have peace, and reconciliation. It will be a powerful, wonderful day when that happens.
    BTW, I tagged you on my blog. I thought twice about it, but I really wanted to read some interesting facts about you. 🙂
    Check it out on my blog….

  • 5. formedofclay  |  October 30, 2008 at 9:45 am

    Caution must be exercised when assuming how much anyone cares about anything, for we can never know precisely what another thinks or feels, or cares about, unless they are willing to tell us. Then it is impossible to know “for sure” if they are even then telling us the truth, or not. Your wholeness cannot be dependent on where others “holes” lie, just as their wholeness cannot be dependent on you filling yours. Please just don’t make assumptions about the feelings of others based on your own “holes”. It doesn’t honor them, or you. I will pray your time in Washington contains far more laughter than tears, and love that fills you enough to diminish the ache that holes provide.

  • 6. Doug Wright  |  October 30, 2008 at 9:25 am

    I pray peace for you.
    I’ll give you some freshly smoked fish if you want to just hang out for an hour or so.
    Let me know

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