October 24, 2007 at 2:35 pm 2 comments

Today is our son Paul’s 29th birthday.  This is the 12th birthday in a row we have not been able to celebrate with him, and it is still really, really hard.  Hard not to imagine what he might look like, who he might have married, hard not to think of the grandchildren he might have added to our family.  Hard not to think of the contributions he certainly would have made to this world and to the Kingdom of God. 

Hard not to think of he and his mother getting in the car to go to a soccer match somewhere and him bugging her to let him drive. Hard not to think of him teasing his sister Traci and hanging with his brother Brad.  Hard not to think of him with his brother in law, Brandon or Summer, the sister in law he never got to meet. Hard not to think of him playing with Sloan, Sean and Canyon Paul, his 3 nephews and hard not to think of him getting excited about the new little boy we are all anticipating together.

Hard not to think of him playing soccer, riding his bike, snowboarding or talking with his friends.  Hard not to think of him sitting too close to the TV, watching the World Cup or a war show.  Hard not to think of going by his room at midnight, finding his light on, in bed reading a book, especially after being told to turn it off an hour before.  Hard not to think of him laughing, acting goofy and encouraging everyone around him to do the same, especially when they shouldn’t be.

Hard not to think of him enjoying the company of others we know who have been lost to us here on earth.  Hard, especially to not think of him and Willie finding ways to do whatever it is they are doing where they are, differently then they are supposed to.  While I doubt anyone gets in trouble in heaven, it is hard not to see the two of them trying!

Hard not to think of him enjoying the company of his grandmother and his great-grandparents and other family and friends who are with him in heaven. 

Hard not to think of him giving me one of those big hugs he was so good at giving.

Hard not to think of him at the feet of the Father taking it all in and smiling.

It is hard not to think of him….so I am.

Happy Birthday, Paul Scott


Entry filed under: Belief, Faith, Family, Jesus, The Father, Thoughts.

The voice still cries from the wilderness. Down on the farm.

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mike S  |  October 24, 2007 at 7:22 pm

    We thought of Paul as we left you this morning. Thanks for the time together and letting us be a part of the time with Lee and Mary. Long trip today but we made it. We love you all and we miss Paul.

  • 2. Traci  |  October 24, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Thanks for that dad. I miss my little brother today and wish he was here. I, too, think of him in all of these ways. I know how much Brad loves his son and his nephews and I so very much wish we could see the way Paul would love his nephews and maybe even his own son. I think this is the area where I really miss him. Thinking of how he would be with the boys. My boys are missing out because they do not get to know him. I also picture him at the feet of Jesus and maybe even causing a little “all in good fun” ruckus. We are all different today on his 29th birthday because of him and because of the loss of him. I actually think we have a little bit of Paul with us in the form of 3 little boys who are all tiny pieces of him, Canyon Paul’s amazing smile that lights up the room and is given so easily. Seany’s mischievous nature, and Sloan who likes to go off on his own and do his “thinking.” In all these ways, our boys reflect some of the wonderful parts of Paul. Thank you Lord for giving me reminders and glimpses of my brother.

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