Not fully woven.

June 14, 2007 at 8:35 am 6 comments

Lately, as the time gets closer to leave this place that has been our home for 18 years, I have found myself mourning again what was lost many months ago.  It is not as if I had stopped mourning, it had just gotten easier.  The call by others to “move on”, “get over it”, “it was your fault” etc has lessened and over time the realization that things would never mend has forced me to deal with the reality that you really “can never go home again”.

I found this great quote this morning and the reading of it and the ruminating about it is the source of this post: I think that’s the source of my discomfort.  I’ve outgrown the old to the point that it’s become unwearable, but the new is not yet woven, and I’m getting cold standing aroung waiting. (Justin Baeder)

We remained in Mason County believing and hoping that in time there would be reconciliation and perhaps even restoration but after nearly 20 months it appears that will not happen and so having outgrown the old and the new not fully woven it is time to stop waiting around for the warmth.

I am not blaming anyone in particular, as there is more than enough blame to go around.  I can’t believe the Father has found pleasure in any of what has taken place.  Yet at the same time wonderful new relationships have been formed around the country we never would have made if this brokenness had not come.  A clearer understanding of the church and what Jesus is building has been learned during this time of waiting, along with an embrace of the Holy Spirit we had felt for years but could not fully enter.

Failure, brokenness and waiting have great value when redeemed by the Father, who by the way, delights in redemption, healing and watching His beloved children return to wholeness. This quote by Jimmy Shaw explains the reason for the wait and anticipates the future: …we have to choose a courageous path: one in which we are not afraid to let the land lie fallow and allow the old things to die out, while we wait for God to renew the land and ourselves in the process. 

The renewing of the land is not near complete but the renewal of “ourselves” seems nearing completion.  It is time to go.

If you have time on Sunday we would love to see you.  (see yesterdays post)


Entry filed under: Church, Culture, Faith, Friendship, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Revelation, The Father, Thoughts.

A Sunday invitation. Listening.

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. refreshingfromheaven  |  June 15, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Hello, I just arrived to you blog, and believe that it’s one of those Godly coincidences. You have ministered me so much! Just needed to say THANKS for sharing your journey. Today God reminded me, through your site, about the “healing journey”, humility, the need of confession, and particularly, that whatever the struggle might be, He is stronger. Thanks for such blessing!

  • 2. sumijoti  |  June 14, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    God bless you as you let go of the old to embrace the new.

    Isa 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

    If you ever swing by Jacksonville Florida, feel free look us up at Narrow Way Ministries. 🙂

  • 3. amanda  |  June 14, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    i am at a loss for words. i can’t begin to say what you (and indirectly)Linda (whom i hope to finally meet Sunday) have meant to me. you’ve taught me so much, please don’t give up the blog, it right now is what is keeping me going until we can find another church. i am selfishly wishing you could stay but so understand why you don’t. i am so disappointed in the not only the betrayal of you and your family, but mine too(for another day and another place) i pray that you and Linda continue to heal, and continue to bless those around you, by word, by blog, by presence. i hope to make it to hear you preach one more time. God bless you both.

  • 4. Doug Wright  |  June 14, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    I’m excited for the two of you. Like Chris Columbus you’re setting sale for final destination “unknown”. With your desire to hear and obey the voice and leading of God you will land in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time dressed exactly in the correct woven clothes. There is a larger picture being created by God on your canvas of life (as on all of ours) I appreciate your candor by blog and look forward to your continued teaching in this format. I look forward to the service on Sunday. What a wonderful way to begin a new era. I am deeply appreciative of our friendship and look forward to the future.

  • 5. Olive  |  June 14, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    I am so sad that you are leaving but I rejoice that God has renewed you and Linda. I know that you will continue to grow and bear fruit beyond any of our wildest imaginations, I am just thankful that I have been the recipient of some of your fruit bearing and that I have been blessed a hundred, nay a thousand times over by the grace and love that you and Linda have poured without pause on my family and me. How fortunate those who do not even know you yet will be because of your great faith and your steadfast conviction that you serve a God who forgives and loves and keeps no record of wrongs. I know that our lives are woven together so tightly that even though you leave, you will never leave us. You will always be as we will be a part of each other’s lives, our branches have entertwined and we stand together no matter the distance or space. You will always have our love and we thank our wonderful God that He gave you to us – you have taught us so much what it looks like to be a man after God’s own heart. How Great Is Our God.

  • 6. Royal  |  June 14, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    I know there is one family that will miss you and your wife greatly. Keep in touch, thanks for showing your heart through the difficult times, and update the blog often. Take care.

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