Maybe it IS all about me. (by Linda)

May 27, 2007 at 5:11 pm 3 comments

From time to time Linda has things she wants to say so she takes a turn on the Juniper View.  What follows is one of those times.

After Greg wrote his post on why forgiveness is hard, I felt the urge to share something about forgiveness.  As I asked the Lord what I should share, this is what He said.  I invite you to eavesdrop on our conversation.

 Lord, what do you want me to share about forgiveness?

Forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.  (Matt. 6:12)

(As I pray the Lord’s prayer at least once each day, this seemed a logical place for my Father to start, and frankly, it has kept the subject of forgiveness firmly in front of me since I began the practice of saying this prayer over 2 years ago.)

Forgive me my sins –  as You forgive me.  So, how do You forgive me?

If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:9)

I confess, call it what You call it, I repent, turn from my sin, and You forgive.  That’s what happened with Greg – he confessed, I forgave.  But…people don’t or can’t always confess – sometimes they don’t know they have hurt us or they are now dead.

Why did Jesus come?

To heal.

Confession brings healing – between you and Me and between you and others.

To set the captive free.

Sin keeps you in prison – a captive in bondage.   And…unforgiveness is a sin.

So…it’s about me, not the other person.

It isn’t about the other person(s) and what he/she does or doesn’t do related to confession, restoration or reconciliation; it’s about you.  I want to set YOU free, to bring healing into YOUR life.  It won’t happen when you hang onto the pain and hurt that someone else caused, when you won’t forgive.

Our conversation ended, but here are some thoughts that followed:

The Bible tells me that love, the kind I am to have for another, doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.         (I Cor. 13: 5)   When I don’t forgive, that is just what I do – I keep a record of the wrong – I hang on to it. 

Jesus came to set the captive free.  When I live in unforgiveness, I am a captive; I live in bondage – in sin.  The solution for breaking that captivity is forgiveness.  I cannot be healthy – spiritually, emotionally, or physically -if I hold sin (unforgiveness) in my heart.  God wants to bless me with Himself, freedom and His peace.  Blessing/restored relationship will only come when I confess my unforgiveness to Him and ask Him to forgive me my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.  

When I harbor unforgiveness in my heart, when I hang onto the hurt, I grieve the Spirit, I am telling Him that I don’t want to do what it takes to be free – I’d rather whallow in the ugly thoughts, feelings, and anger I have toward the person(s) who has hurt me. 

I experienced this just last week – as the Spirit prompted me to let go of a hurt, I said no – maybe not with that word, but I headed down the road of ranting and raving about someone.  As a result of my not letting go, my relationship with my Father was broken and I “rained on” a pleasant time Greg had with a friend.  I ended up hurting him – because I wanted to be selfish and live in the hurt.  When I confessed my attitude of unforgiveness to God, I felt free; I then had to tell Greg I was sorry for my attitude and the things I said.  He forgave, but I couldn’t take the discouraging words I said about his friend back.  If I had chosen to forgive the new hurt I was made aware of, I would not have hurt my Father or my husband.  

When I say, “I am going to forgive, even if the other person(s) doesn’t confess or know he/she has hurt me,” I am setting in motion the breaking of the chains that bind me. 

When I confess my unforgiveness and say, “I can’t forgive on my own, help me,” I am setting in motion the breaking of the chains that bind me.

If I want the rich and satisfying life Jesus came to give (John 10:10 NLT), if I want my relationship to my Father to be whole and healthy, AND if I want to be of use in the kingdom – Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done – then I must forgive.  Forgiveness is His will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

 It isn’t about the other person, it’s about me.  What will I choose?  What will you choose?


Entry filed under: By Linda, Christianity, Church, Culture, Faith, Friendship, Jesus, Revelation, The Father.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all. Account ability

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. sumijoti  |  May 29, 2007 at 10:52 am

    I think sometimes the merciful thing to do is not to tell the person. I can think of an instance where dragging the thing up to tell someone how he hurt me would only cause that person anguish. Anguish because his intention was never to hurt me, and his heart towards me is right.
    I have let the thing go and moved on…speaking about it will only put a burden on that man’s shoulders that God never intended to be there. The offence happened because God wanted to test what was in MY heart, It was between me and God, the fact that that man doesn’t know what I forgave him for doesn’t feature much at all.
    Just my two cents’ worth. 🙂

  • 2. Mike S  |  May 28, 2007 at 8:04 pm

    Don’t you have to tell the person what it is or let it go? Then you are forgiving someone for something you have never even discussed with them. And what good is that forgiveness?
    If you don’t bring it up then they don’t even know that there is something that you are going to fogive them for.
    And I have not brought it up yet….

  • 3. Ron Marrs  |  May 28, 2007 at 6:21 am


    This ministered to me. Thank you.

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