Bill’s “Big Bubbas’s Burgers” Bodacius Birthday Bash!

May 2, 2007 at 7:40 pm 3 comments

Nothing like overwriting a title.  Yesterday was our friend Bill McComb’s double nickel birthday. As you might expect, following so closely on the heels of losing Willie, it was hard for the family to think of a way to celebrate with loss so thick in the air. 

So we all went to Allyn to Big Bubba’s Burgers, got some good greasy hamburgers, fries and onion rings, went across the street to the park and ate and watched the grandsons run around.  While it was not the usual McComb kind of celebration, I don’t suspect, it was for a moment, a brief respite from the storm.

Many have asked us how the family is doing, and the answer is, they are doing about what you would expect.  There are some really bad days and some not so good days, with very brief moments when one of the grandsons or one of their children is able to take their mind away from the pain for just an instant.  Laugther can turn to tears in seconds.

Bill and Leslee took Jordan back to Portland where he is going to school. Rachel, Royal and Jayden returned to their home in Lacey last weekend for Jayden’s first birthday party and have stayed there except for trips to visit their parents.  Joanna and Jon are staying most nights with Bill and Leslee.  There are still some of Willie’s friends who drop by to visit, tell stories and they all cry together.  I think they really like these visits.  Other friends and family drop out occasionally to sit a while as well.  Linda and I have been out there, for at least a little while, most every day, except two or three.  If it wasn’t so sad it would be fun.

Today Bill and Leslee left to take Kaylee and the boys to Phoenix in their motor home.  We are praying this trip will bring a measure of healing to them or at least change the scenery enough to occupy their minds with other things for a moment here and there.  It will also give them an opportunity to see where Kaylee and Rand will be living and serving. They are goingto take it real easy and plan to stop and see our kids and grandkids in Utah.  We wish we could have gone along.

While their children must return to their homes and responsibilites, it is very hard for all of them to be apart.

It is so hard to see this family struggle, but as we have learned first hand, it is a journey that takes a lot more time than most people want it to take.  I think everyone means well, but statements like, “it is time to move on,” “time to get back to a normal life” are so not helpful.  There will never again be “normal” the way they knew it before.  There is no getting on with life.  You can, and they will survive, but it will never again be as it was.  Never.  Part of them is gone forever, so how could things be the same. 

I think that most of us want the grieving to “move on” or “to get over it” because it is so hard for us to see them suffer so much and since there is nothing we can do to fix it or stop it we can only hope they will get over it so we can all get back to life as we knew it with all of them.

That will not happen.  Will we enjoy good times with this family again?  Certainly, we have had many good times the last two weeks.  Will they return to some kind of life where they will be similar to the family we have known and loved?  Yes, but it will take a lot longer then you might hope or want.

What can you do?  Keep praying.  Send them a “thinking of you” card.  Call and see if a visit would be welcomed.  Two months from now when everyone else is “over it, ” they will still be need people to come and remember and cry with them.  I remember how sad I felt when I went to the mailbox and found no cards, weeks after Paul died.  The simple touch of someone who cares goes along way.

And don’t forget the kids.  They all have lives of their own but they will need to know we are thinking of them too.  Checking in on them too, will make their day. 

If you need addresses for the various family members try calling the funeral home (426.4803).

By the way, Big Bubba’s Burgers doesn’t hold a candle to an In-N-Out burger!

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Entry filed under: Culture, Faith, Friendship, Thoughts.

The need-meeting center we call church. Gracious Uncertainty.

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Royal  |  May 3, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    The birthday at Big Bubbas was a fantastic showing of “heart”. Many people talk of needing to show “heart” but few can actually do it on a consistent basis. Sometimes an athlete, a teacher, or leader will show “heart” through some great event or accomplishment but it only lasts an instant. The individuals that continually care for the McComb family know what it means and how to portray it. They step into a situation fully aware of the circumstances and walk with the family stride for stride. After the day is done they help pick up the pieces and then return the next day to do it all over again. Only someone with “heart” can accomplish this and to them I say thanks.

  • 2. damon  |  May 3, 2007 at 7:21 am

    I do not think one ever “gets over” loss of loved ones; death is so devastating. I think it is like healing from an illness in a sense (in a very limited sense); pain and suffering depending on the condition we suffer from will take the time it takes. When we get to a point of feeling better we are thankful that the pain and suffering are gone, and happy for how good better health feels. We never forget the pain and suffering and with loss of life even more so. The status of the stability of our heart one month, one year or 10 years later; really only ourselves and God knows. Missing someone you love will last a lifetime and that is ok. I think that what I long for after going through trying times, is the return of the joy that Jesus and only Jesus can provide; He provides the healing through many avenues, such as good friends, experiences, music, His Word etc.; and as you say through prayer; what a wonderful blessing to be able to download at any time to our Father in heaven; knowing He is listening and suffering with us; also, knowing that so many are praying for us as well. I think Warren commented a few posts ago about a good book by Randy Alcorn, called “Heaven”. I have read this book and find it to be so comforting and helpful in seeing and feeling the big picture. It is a book that I feel helps expose God’s Word on what it truly meant (and what it really means to us all) when Jesus defeated death on the cross.

  • 3. Kaylee  |  May 2, 2007 at 8:28 pm

    Thank you for your wisdom and your thoughts. Thank you for helping other people know how to help us and what to expect. I don’t know where we would be if you and Linda wouldn’t have been holding our hands this entire time. You have made it a little less scary and are a small vision of light during the darkest moments of our lives. Today, our first day of travel, went well and we got a lot further than we thought we would. The boys traveled like champs! Since we’ve been parked, however, dad hasn’t stopped crying and mom hasn’t either. We all cried as we read your blog. Like you said, there are really bad days and some not so bad ones and laughter can turn to tears in seconds. But just as quickly, tears can turn to laughter. I’m so thankful for friends and family that understand and know how to help and that bring their tears and laughter with them for us.
    Lots of love from Eastern Oregon!

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