A restoration story: Part 2

March 13, 2007 at 10:05 pm 3 comments

If you have not read part one, I encourage you to read it prior to reading this post and thank you for reading.

Part two: Accepting brokenness and failure.

It is a truth worth learning and worth learning well that God’s evaluation of us has nothing at all to do with the adulation or approval of others, or the lack thereof.  God’s assessment of us flows out of a commitment He made to love us and God never makes a mistake.  The inaccurate view I may have of myself at any given moment has nothing to do with who I am and certainly has nothing to do with how God views me or feels about me.

This is a monstrous revelation.  When I began to really experience the love of God I also began to accept my brokenness and failure.  The truth is my brokenness and failure was no problem for my Father because He has designed it so that the door to the deepest part of  His heart can only be entered through brokenness and failure.

Many of us live with a false sense that we are a huge disappointment to the Father.  We think our best efforts, no matter how good are surely disappointing Him.  I could accept that He was disappointed, what I struggled to accept was, that not only was he not disappointed, He had a magnanimous, outrageous love for me.

I had no trouble relating to this quote by Mike Yaconelli from Abba’s Child: I knew I was broken.  I knew I was a sinner.  I knew I constantly disappointed God, but I could never accept that part of me.  It was a part that embarrassed me.  I continually felt the need to apologize, to run from my weaknesses, to deny who I was and concentrate on what I should be.  I was broken, yes, but I was continually trying never to be broken again-or at least to get to the place where I was seldom broken…

What is so extraordinary and so life changing is that God is not at all bothered by our brokenness.  He is not disappointed in our failures.  In fact, what has revolutionized my life, is the knowledge that it is my brokenness that most reveals His power.  No matter how good I can be, no matter how close to getting it right I might get, it was through my failure and weakness that the Father was the strongest!

As I began to have a revelation of the deep, abiding love of the Father for me, it opened my eyes to see that life and ministry is not about dominating, controlling or manipulating or anything else I might do to prove my value or worth.  When embraced by the Father’s love I can serve and care and listen, secure in the knowledge that He knows what and who I am.  He knows how broken I am and yet He loves me still. That leaves me with absolutely nothing to prove.

When we understand the fullness of the Father’s love for us, we can live the life of Jesus in the power of the Spirit, not trying to fix anyone but simply, extending the love we have received, to others.  In brokenness we are able to see the brokenness of others and extend the same love we have found, to them. 

The most gracious, forgiving and affirming people are those who understand their brokenness and failures are the gateway to the Father’s heart and secure in His love can give it away to others who need it too.  I was blessed to be the multiple recipient of that kind of love over the last months.

As God revealed the fullness of His love for me, for the first time in a long time, away from the pressures of ministry performance and perfection driven effort, I could hear Him say “my dear son, I love you-you are my beloved.”

Do you know how much the Father loves you?  I used to say it all the time “there is nothing you can do to make the Father love you more than He does right now and there is nothing you need to stop doing for Him to love you anymore than He does in this very moment.”

As strange as it may seem, it was through brokenness and failure I learned that far from being disappointed my Abba assured me of His love.  He wants you to know that love too.

Tomorrow: Part 3-The loss of a son and learning to trust.

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Entry filed under: Christianity, Church, Culture, Faith, Jesus, Thoughts.

A restoration story: Part 1 A restoration story: Part 3

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. renversgirl  |  March 18, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    what a wonderful parallel to the study i am doing right now. i am still struggling with the fact that i am a HOLY vessel, consecrated by HIS love and am not only loved by HIM but considered sacred, it is truly a mind blowing concept, and for a perfectionist, type A personality it is hard to get my head around, but i am getting there through Him, not myself i am gettting there, and O what a feeling.

  • 2. Jenn  |  March 15, 2007 at 2:28 pm

    You said, “God knows how broken I am and yet He loves me still. That leaves me with nothing to prove.” Amen, Amen, Amen!! I can’t even tell you how that ministers to me. The freedom that is given in that statement says it all. It has nothing to do with me proving anything, it has everthing to do with Him loving me. I am redeemed, I am holy, and I am priceless to God. That is amazing to me! Thank you for putting into words the struggle that so many of us have and are in bondage to and for sharing words of life that overcome.

  • 3. Jaynee  |  March 13, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Indeed…it was my brokenness that nailed him to the Cross to bring me wholeness.
    I stand complete, I have been made whole. When You look at me, it’s Your Son You see….And He Is Holy. (nh/lw-’97)
    i love you. never stopped. never will.

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