I don’t want to die.

February 22, 2007 at 11:39 pm 5 comments

Jesus wants you dead-Todd Pierce

The call is to die daily and that is just a little too regular for me-Andy Taylor

Lose your life for my sake and the gospel…-Jesus

For a number of months now I have been trying to avoid the reality that death is the call on anyone who chooses to accept the invitation to follow Jesus.  I don’t like it, I fight it, I avoid thinking about it, I try to make excuses, I suggest I have the right to whatever it is I won’t give up.  I try to figure out what else He might mean because there is no way He could mean that. I suggest to myself that it really was just a manner of speaking, a metaphor about the seriousness of being a follower, but He really didn’t mean to die every day, to lose my life every day. Did He?

But none of my explanations work.  I can’t explain it away. No excuse makes it, I need to die, and I need to die, regularly.  I need to wake each day to the reality that Jesus wants me dead, if I am to get any kind of clue as to what it means to live.

Some how when I commit suicide, as it relates to my goals, my dreams, my desires, my will, my attitude, my drive to get even, my hope for recognition, my need for restoration, my drive to succeed, my desire to be vindicated, my, my, my… Somehow when I commit daily suicide of my self, the life I truly seek is resurrected in me as Jesus comes back to life in my very being.

Over and over, many times every day, I must choose the Father’s will over mine.  Jesus “endured the cross for the joy set before Him”.  Death, daily death, moment by moment death is for the joy set before me.

I don’t want to die.  I hate it, actually.  I seldom ever come to it joyfully but when I go ahead and die, the resurrection is always joyful.  Every time I go ahead with the self-death-suicide, I find I come a little more alive. 

But it has to be an every day deal.  Once is never enough. 

CS Lewis wrote “The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self, all your wishes and precautions to–Christ.

I am pretty sure that every thing wrong with the world, church, marriage, family, relationships of all kinds, would all be made right if we would die a little more regular.

Any thoughts?  I hate dying alone.


Entry filed under: Christianity, Faith, Jesus.

Jon Brockman: A man among boys. Follow-up to yesterdays post.

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. tikkiro  |  February 24, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    Actually like Paul, I can’t wait to die for real – finally! Dying daily is hard to do, but like the final time, releases us into a whole new walk with Him, where He can truly communicate to us the Truth we so desperately need to hear. And all of that is but preparation for that final day, when we have to truly finally release our hold on everything here, and walk forward into an eternal future, not the temporal one here that fetters us and chains us so heavily. So let our dying become our living, and He will truly use us as He desires 🙂

  • 2. Linda  |  February 23, 2007 at 11:33 am

    You are not alone; I’m right here beside you, choosing to die to MYself and finding it equally hard.

    The World says I have rights; Jesus says set those aside for His sake. If I have a grasp of the sin, my sin, that sent Jesus to the cross, of the price He paid on that cross, of the love of my Father for me, of the freedom I will experience when I let go, of the joy to be shared with a hurting, deceived world, then I will willingly set those “rights” aside. Isn’t that how I show others I believe what I say I believe?

    I am grateful to be walking this road with you – for almost 35 years now! 🙂 I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • 3. David C?  |  February 23, 2007 at 11:29 am

    Take my heart, I Lay it down
    At the feet of you whose crowned
    Take my life, I’m letting go
    I lift it up to You who’s throned

    And I will worship You, Lord
    Only You, Lord
    And I will bow down before You
    Only You Lord

    Take my fret, take my fear
    All I have, I’m leaving here
    Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
    Be all my delights, be my everything

    And It’s just you and me here now
    Only you and me here now

    You should see the view
    When it’s only You
    David Crowder

  • 4. Larry  |  February 23, 2007 at 9:34 am

    Great insights on the issues of death and deing. The teaching is clear the process is difficult. I DO want to die but the process is what scares me.

  • 5. Doug Wright  |  February 23, 2007 at 6:20 am

    Scripture refers to how a seed must go into the ground and deteriorate in order to bring forth a new crop. (must die) How useless we become when we are self centered, self motivated and self indulged. How much more usefull we become when we are dead to self and available to the move of the Spirit of God. Easy to say//very hard to do!
    Greg–You’re not alone, count me in.
    To those of you who know me, “Hold me accountable.”

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